‘Danksgiving’ is Dumb: Just Smoke Your Weed, Eat Your Turkey, and Shut Up

Danksgiving is what happens when your favorite thing goes mainstream. By ‘favorite thing’ I mean weed, and when I say ‘mainstream’, you know who I’m talking about. The same people who misuse the word ‘lit’, open trap-yoga studios with no Black or South Asian instructors, and use gravity bongs. These people have 0 chill. I can look past their fuckery for the most part, but the one thing I will not let them ruin is Thanksgiving.

What is Danksgiving?

You don’t want to know.

No Really?

Okay fine. Danksgiving is supposed to be a clever 420 – twist on Thanksgiving. On Danksgiving participants are supposed to lace as much Thanksgiving food as they can with canna-butter, smoke a bunch of weed all day, and alert everyone in the days leading up to it that you’re planning a Danksgiving, along with a Martha Stewart esque- rundown of what you’re making.

That sounds like a lot.

Seriously, in my day we had a regular Black ass Thanksgiving dinner.

• You overhear your cousins plotting how they’re going to ‘run to the store right quick’
• You volunteer to go with them
• You all pile into your cousin’s tinted Impala & hotbox the shit out if it
• You come back into the house empty handed from the made up store run
• Your grandma calls you all out for being high, and all your aunties start fucking with you and reminiscing about how they used to do the same thing

That’s it. And that’s how it should be. Just a time to turn up with family and friends.

Want to take your high higher? Just make a Hennessy and apple cider and call it a day.

Who needs to make a full infused spread?

Are you gonna have Kush Kasserole, or Turkey ‘Pot’ Pie? Pick one!

I don’t understand. Who needs to be that high!?

If you regularly make edibles, then what’s so special about Danksgiving?

Is this like a more annoying version of April, 20th?

Isn’t that a waste of canna-butter, or do you just got it like to the point that money ain’t a thang? Does having the munchies cancel out having the itis’? Do I even want to find out?

Not really.

I just want to eat, smoke and re-heat plates of virgin leftovers.

I suggest you to either do the same, or spare me the details of your ‘Danksgiving’ experience. It sounds excessive and stupid and so do you.