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I Had A Crush On Pretty Much Every Kid In ‘The Sandlot’

If I had to describe my childhood, I would break it down into two phases; before I became interested in boys, and after. That first phase I recall, was a blissful existence where boys were simply fellow children who weren’t forced to wear socks with lace on them and had cooler toys. At that point in my life, none of my choices were influenced by what boys thought of me. I said whatever I wanted, and wore whatever my mom picked out for me. It was a freedom that I would spend most of my adult life trying to get back to. My life at that point was simple and full of pride. Other seven year old girls may have fawned over 90’s teen heartthrobs like Jonathan Taylor Thomas and Immature, but those girls were stupid. I had better things to do. I had forts to build, books to read, and executive level Girl Scout meetings to attend. Then ‘The Sandlot’ happened.

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‘The Sandlot’, a coming of a film released in 1993, is a story set in 1960’s California about a young group of boys trying to retrieve a prized baseball, signed by Babe Ruth, from the grips of a scary neighborhood dog.  ‘The Sandlot’ had all of the elements a classic film needs; suspense, a bit of drama, brotherhood, and a killer soundtrack. It also happened to cast a few of the hottest boys I had ever seen at that point in my life. They weren’t like the boys at my school, nor were they like the feminine looking boys that graced the cover of TIGER BEAT magazine. The boys in ‘The Sandlot’ were tough, dirty, cool, and cute. Well, some of them were…

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There was Yeah Yeah, the tan smart ass known for uttering the phrase “Yeah, Yeah” before nearly every sentence. Yeah Yeah had a mega watt smile, gorgeous eyes and was down to be the hype-man when necessary. He also was on the front line as the human pulley in one of many attempts to retrieve the ball from ‘The Beast’.

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Kenny, the token black boy and resident voice of reason, was like a miniature Denzel Washington. He was smart, athletic, and had the best style of the entire crew. The way he wore his crisp short sleeve button ups unbuttoned made my tiny heart skip a beat.

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Then there was Phillips, the asshole kid from the rival baseball team. Phillips was a total jerk and I loved him for it. Though his knack for hurling insults was no match for the adorable”Ham” Porter, I still had every desire to press my little face against his.

But no one in that movie, better yet, no one throughout my then 7 years of living, gave me the feels like Benny ” The Jet” Rodriguez. At that point in my life I had no idea what the concept of sexuality meant, or even what intercourse was, but the way I wanted Benny was carnal.
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Benny was the oldest and by far the hottest of the Sandlot gang. He was tall, strong, honest, and driven. You knew that if shit went down, you could count on Benny to save the day. To this day are all the qualities I look for in men.

Benny was Bae, and I was madly in love. Of course even at seven years old I was still reasonable enough to know that it was only a fantasy. The love saga of me and Benny “The Jet” Rodriguez existed only in my head. Although I knew a relationship between me and any of my Sandlot crushes could never be, their fictional existence still sparked a change within me. I started to look at boys in a completely different way.  I suddenly wanted boys, cute ones, to notice and want me.

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It’s been 22 years since ‘The Sandlot was released and I decided to find out what became of my dearly beloved childhood heartthrobs. I discovered that just like most people you haven’t seen in 22 years, they’ve changed. A lot.

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Yeah, Yeah, played by actor Marty York, hasn’t fared so well since his Sandlot days. His last movie credits are for a low budget film called “The Brothers Sinclair” about two gay brothers who inherit their uncles business- a private men’s gym in Manhattan. He was also arrested in 2009 on domestic violence charges for punching his then girlfriend.

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Kenny, played by actor Brandon Quentin Adams, is still fine as fuck. Adams has had mild success in television with roles in The Fresh Prince Of Bel-Air, Moesha, and Sister Sister. Adams now lives in Los Angeles and performs as a rapper under the name B. Lee. I’d probably cop his mixtape if it had his number printed on it!

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Phillips, Phillips, played by actor Will Horneff, traded his acting career for a career as an MMA fighter. Hmm.. Yeah, sounds about right. If Phillips was a real person I could see brutally beating people’s asses as a natural career trajectory for him.

2230CBB13And last but not least, my darling Benny. Benny, played by actor Mike Vitar did not go on to have a legendary baseball career like his character. Instead Vitar became a firefighter for the Los Angeles fire department and he’s still pretty cute. Yep, 22 years later and Benny’s still saving lives.

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Yes, the boys from ‘The Sandlot’ are now men in their mid-late 30’s. Some of them have wives and children, and some are single with mixtapes dropping. But hey, dreamboats aside, ‘The Sandlot’ is a classic American family film. I know thugs who fuck with ‘The Sandlot’ heavy. Its a movie that will be “For-Ev-Vur” remembered.

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